"We are not alike mom" -musings from the daily life of a design educator mom.
My sons Nael and Rishad are just under two years apart. Being so close together in years has had its advantages and disadvantages. They have grown up together, played together, shared things together. It can be said that they have had a more fulfilling growing period than my eldest daughter Manahil, who had no other sibling before Nael arrived 4 years later.
I have also often treated them in a similar manner, dressing them alike, feeding them alike, giving them similar gifts. Even to the extent of committing the ultimate sin of mixing up their names. " i am not Nael mama", Rishad angrily tells me at times, when while caught up in my work i accidentally address him by his brother name. Many a time I have lamented the fact that the Rishad, the little one is so much more difficult and head strong, "ziddi", as opposed to Nael. This problematic in disciplining and making the daily family life run smoothly has been a constant area of concern, something that my husband and i often think about and discuss.
Surprisingly what made me change my strategy in dealing with my children was the realization of their differences. Their approach towards a costume party and planning and executing a costume. Their school announced a costume party and i found myself experiencing a panic attack because that meant i wold have to design their costumes too. This task seemed too much for me to handle as i am working and studying currently as well as looking after a a family. To make life a bit simple and make the kids be more responsible for their activities i assigned the responsibility of thinking about the costumes to the boys. this would relieve me from the responsibility of thinking up a costume and just help them execute their own ideas. Also they would not be able to tell me that this was not the way they though the costume would look. (last year after all the effort i had put in Nael refused to wear the costume to the school part because he looked silly in it.) While they were verbally discussing their ideas with me, i was constantly busy with work and other goings on of family life. To add to that was that they had a new idea popping up every 15 minutes and ended up becoming more taxing for me.
I was checking sketchbooks of my second year design class at this time and i though that i should make them sketch out their ideas. This would give me some relief from a constant verbal barrage of ideas and give them something to silently sit and do. What resulted was a surprise for me in terms of how a small activity like this could actually feed into a simple activity like planning a costume, resulting in owning up to work and autonomy in execution. It also revealed a different wiring system for my boys, and perhaps it was the visual representation of their mind-mapping that bought home to me something that knew but maybe had pushed it to the peripheries of my my conscious behaviour.
Naels work was systematic and analytical in approach and Rishad's tended to be descriptive and organic. A misconception about Rishad was that he was not very imaginative because Nael was a reader and Rishad was not. It can be said that i that i revisited my understanding of my own children as an outcome of this excercise. Part of engaging with children and making art and drawing as part of every day occurrences can go a long way into building a better understanding of out children, we just need to revisit our understanding of art activities.
Rishad's descriptive sketchbook - the costume party day
Nael's analytic sketchbook - the costume party day
Apart from these revelations, both boys were extremely happy with their costumes and Nael even won the Best costume at the party.
My sons Nael and Rishad are just under two years apart. Being so close together in years has had its advantages and disadvantages. They have grown up together, played together, shared things together. It can be said that they have had a more fulfilling growing period than my eldest daughter Manahil, who had no other sibling before Nael arrived 4 years later.
I have also often treated them in a similar manner, dressing them alike, feeding them alike, giving them similar gifts. Even to the extent of committing the ultimate sin of mixing up their names. " i am not Nael mama", Rishad angrily tells me at times, when while caught up in my work i accidentally address him by his brother name. Many a time I have lamented the fact that the Rishad, the little one is so much more difficult and head strong, "ziddi", as opposed to Nael. This problematic in disciplining and making the daily family life run smoothly has been a constant area of concern, something that my husband and i often think about and discuss.
Surprisingly what made me change my strategy in dealing with my children was the realization of their differences. Their approach towards a costume party and planning and executing a costume. Their school announced a costume party and i found myself experiencing a panic attack because that meant i wold have to design their costumes too. This task seemed too much for me to handle as i am working and studying currently as well as looking after a a family. To make life a bit simple and make the kids be more responsible for their activities i assigned the responsibility of thinking about the costumes to the boys. this would relieve me from the responsibility of thinking up a costume and just help them execute their own ideas. Also they would not be able to tell me that this was not the way they though the costume would look. (last year after all the effort i had put in Nael refused to wear the costume to the school part because he looked silly in it.) While they were verbally discussing their ideas with me, i was constantly busy with work and other goings on of family life. To add to that was that they had a new idea popping up every 15 minutes and ended up becoming more taxing for me.
I was checking sketchbooks of my second year design class at this time and i though that i should make them sketch out their ideas. This would give me some relief from a constant verbal barrage of ideas and give them something to silently sit and do. What resulted was a surprise for me in terms of how a small activity like this could actually feed into a simple activity like planning a costume, resulting in owning up to work and autonomy in execution. It also revealed a different wiring system for my boys, and perhaps it was the visual representation of their mind-mapping that bought home to me something that knew but maybe had pushed it to the peripheries of my my conscious behaviour.
Naels work was systematic and analytical in approach and Rishad's tended to be descriptive and organic. A misconception about Rishad was that he was not very imaginative because Nael was a reader and Rishad was not. It can be said that i that i revisited my understanding of my own children as an outcome of this excercise. Part of engaging with children and making art and drawing as part of every day occurrences can go a long way into building a better understanding of out children, we just need to revisit our understanding of art activities.
Rishad's descriptive sketchbook - the costume party day
Nael's analytic sketchbook - the costume party day
Apart from these revelations, both boys were extremely happy with their costumes and Nael even won the Best costume at the party.
